At some time or another in our lives, we have all come across a bully. We sometimes will see them on the school yard but as we get older, we realise they are not limited to being children. In fact, we will sometimes come across them as adults in our personal lives and in the workplace.
We often look at others and we can tell almost right away that they are bullies. We do so because of their behaviour and the personal traits they may be showing. What about the possibility that you are a bully? Some people might feel as if the notion is preposterous but if you are showing some of the following traits, you might just want to take a closer look at yourself. Here are the top 5 behaviours that bullies display.
1. Controlling
One of the traits that a bully often shows is a need to control others. It comes from insecurity and feeling as if they aren’t good enough. Since they are not able to raise their own self-esteem, they lower the self-esteem of others. That is why bullies often attempt to control anything that they possibly can.
If you think you need to control others in your life, you may need to take a closer look at yourself. Why do people make you question your self-worth and what people in your life make you do so? Confront those people in a healthy way, setting boundaries and creating a healthy barrier.
2. Impulses
Bullies have a very difficult time controlling emotion. When they have an emotion, such as fear or anger, they don’t think how their actions are going to affect others. They simply lash out at anyone who is around.
If you find this trait yourself, try to get in tune with your personal fears and begin working with them. Learn your triggers so that they can even be avoided. There is nothing wrong with being angry but you need to control it.
3. Lack of Empathy
A lack of empathy may come from a rather surprising source. It often comes when we have empathy but end up burning ourself out. When we are hurting, it is one of the more uncomfortable things that we face so we tend to block it out in ourselves and in other people. A bully will not look at them as individuals, which makes it easier to ignore their suffering.
If you see a lack of empathy in your life, begin reaching out to other people and recognizing that they have their own issues in life. Try opening yourself up to somebody else and explore the common issues that you may face. Allow yourself to feel the pain of others. It is a form of compassion that creates peace and well-being in your life.
4. No Accountability
Often, bullies are victims as well. They take no responsibility for their words or actions and they have to have somebody else to blame. Anytime they lash out, it is because it is the “other person’s fault.” They may even see themselves as a hero.
Showing accountability for our actions is one of the best ways to fight this type of thinking. Admit that there may be a better way to deal with a negative situation. The other person may have genuinely done something to hurt you but we need to look at our mistakes and own up to them. Try to find a way to handle the situation better.
5. Intolerance
Bullies don’t tend to look at other people as individuals, they either look at people as being like them or not like them. When somebody is not in the same category as the bully, they end up being persecuted. It is a form of prejudice that is learned from an early age in many cases. Unfortunately, it can also branch out into religion or politics. Social media is one place where we often see this intolerance come across strongly.
Are you looking for a way to overcome this type of a problem? Take a step back and recognise that it is fine for other people have their own point of view. Don’t attack somebody with a different belief, try to understand that belief.
This video could help you further to overcome bullying:
Via: David Wolfe
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