One of the most exciting times in our life is when we realise we are about to become a parent. It is a time that is full of excitement with just enough of a mix of anxiety to help keep us going. We want to make sure that we do everything right, but unfortunately, there are certain mistakes that many parents make. Knowing those mistakes ahead of time can help us to avoid them.
Along with avoiding these problems, we can also do something about it if we are already taking part in these unwise behaviors. The 7 different parenting behaviors discussed below can crush the self-confidence of a child from an early age and limit their chances of success. When you avoid doing these things, your children may just flourish.
1. Our children aren’t allowed to experience risk
It doesn’t matter where we look in the world around us, we are going to see dangers. We are rightfully afraid that we may lose our children, so we do anything we can to protect them. Unfortunately, we tend to take things too far. According to psychologists in Europe, if a child is unable to play outside and experience a skinned knee, they are likely to have many phobias as an adult. In addition, children do need to experience the love of a boyfriend or girlfriend to appreciate relationships when they get older.
2. We are quick to rescue
The generation of today has not experienced many of the things that we experienced in life because parents are quick to jump in and offer their assistance. Sometimes, children just need to learn lessons on their own. The leadership role of a parent is there to equip children to take care of themselves. Eventually, children will become accustomed to having someone rescue them but when they don’t have it as adults, they are limited in their abilities.
3. Too much self-esteem
The concept of self-esteem has been around for decades and it has been seen in the school system for many years as well. It can be seen in many sporting events, as everyone is a winner and gets a trophy so that kids feel special. Research is now showing that this may not be the best thing to do. Children will eventually notice that their parents are the only ones who think they are awesome. They may end up doubting their parents as a result.
4. We feel guilty
It is not necessary for a child to love you every minute of every day. Children will eventually get over the disappointment of being disciplined but if they are spoiled, it will last for a lifetime. There is nothing wrong with telling the child no every once in a while and not rewarding them for everything that they do. It is unrealistic to think that they will experience the same thing as adults.
5. We don’t share mistakes
When our children get a little older, they are going to want to display some independence. As difficult as it may be, we must let them do so but we shouldn’t shield them from the mistakes that we made as children. When we share relevant mistakes with them, it helps them to make good choices. They will also recognise that there is nothing wrong with making mistakes every once in a while.
6. We think our intelligent children are mature
Sometimes, parents will measure the maturity of their children according to their intelligence but that is not a good marker. Just because a child may be gifted in one or more areas of life, that doesn’t mean that they are ready to make all of their own decisions. Each child will have their own age of responsibility and they should receive a relative amount of freedom.
7. “Do as I say”
We need to set the model for the way our children should live. If we want them to grow up to be confident and successful, we must also be confident and successful in our abilities as well. Make the right choices and allow our children to see both the good and the bad at times. They will then know what is acceptable in life and will pattern their life after it.
Via: Bright Side
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