Most parents have had the experience of children who were misbehaving, often in public places. Since the beginning of time, however, mothers have claimed that children were worse for them than they were for other members of the family. In fact, it seemed as if they would throw a fit any time they were alone with their mother, and it was often some of the most difficult experiences that they had to face.
Perhaps you can think back to a time when your child was bad and how difficult it was for you to get through it. At times, it may have occurred in a public location, such as at the grocery store and we had to struggle just to make it through the checkout line or perhaps we gave up and left our groceries sitting on the cart. In any case, it is something that most parents experience on a regular basis but now science is chiming in on the subject.
One of the more difficult parts about the fact that our children were so bad for us is that they were often good for others. I know most parents would tell stories about how good their children were at school and the teachers just couldn’t say enough about how they behaved for the time if they were in the classroom. It was after they got out of class, however, that things seemed to change.
I would have to readily agree with the statements that I made above and I experienced them throughout the early years of my children. As it turns out, it wasn’t only me but, after talking to family and friends, it began to be seen that children were actually bad for their mothers all around the world!
It seems somewhat odd when you try to make logic out of the situation. After all, mothers are there for their children through thick and thin and they feed them, rock them and even take care of them when they fall down and scratch their knee. How could this possibly make any kind of logical sense?
Perhaps some people would be able to take comfort in the fact that they are not alone in this difficulty. They might feel as if, since mothers struggle with this problem everywhere, is just something that we need to put up with.
Most mothers can look back to some of the more difficult situations that they faced and the fact that they often had to face in on their own. Perhaps they even used the phrase “just wait to your father gets home” until it just didn’t mean anything any longer, but the fact of the matter is, the children kept misbehaving, even with that threat looming over them.
Kate Surf, a parenting blogger, refers to mothers as being the garbage disposal of unpleasant emotions and feelings. I think she sums up the feelings of most mothers, regardless of the age of their children.
She goes on, however, put a rather unusual spin on the entire situation by saying the following; she said that mothers give “a space safe enough for (our) child to have permission to be natural.” Finally, something that makes sense!
A child psychologist by the name of Dr. Heather Wittenberg also had something to say about the situation:
“Children save their best – and worst – for us, as parents. Theyâ€™re their â€˜true selvesâ€™ with us. It takes energy to â€˜be goodâ€™ and follow the rules – especially for young children – so when they get home, they let it all hang out. The good news is that their deepest love, affection, admiration, and goofiness are reserved for us, too.”
So the next time you are the victim of a temper tantrum in public or if a child just doesn’t seem to “get it,” you have reason to look on the bright side.
As it turns out, the fact that your children are misbehaving means that you are doing a great job. Your children are comfortable with the fact that you love them and they are willing to be at their worse in order to prove it.
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