There is no doubt that children can get in some difficult situations from time to time. They often find themselves in a position where they are practically forced to do something they don’t want to do. It’s not that they are in physical danger in some cases, it’s just that their social standing may be in jeopardy if they refuse to go along with it. That is where this father’s brilliant plan comes into play.
After seeing his children run into these situations too many times, he came up with an idea that would help them to get out of it quickly and easily. His name is Bert Fulks and he has three children who now have this simple tool at their disposal. He also is an educator and a counselor, helping troubled teens to struggle through addiction. He asked a simple question at a recent session.
“How many of you have found yourself in situations where things started happening that you weren’t comfortable with, but you stuck around, mainly because you felt like you didn’t have a way out?”
Every child raised their hand. That is when he came up with a brilliant idea. He wrote the following on his blog:
“I still recall my first time drinking beer at a friend’s house in junior high school-I hated it, but I felt cornered. As an adult, that now seems silly, but it was my reality at the time. “Peer pressure” was a frivolous term for an often silent, but very real thing; and I certainly couldn’t call my parents and ask them to rescue me. I wasn’t supposed to be there in the first place. ”
Now that he has implemented his X-Plan, his kids have an easy way out.
Fulks makes use of it with his own children and here’s how it works. If his son is in a difficult position and wants to get out of it, he texts his parents the letter “X”. After receiving that message, his mother or father will call him and say that he must come home right away. It gives the child the opportunity to bail out of a difficult situation with a perfect excuse, he blames it on his parents, and it doesn’t raise any suspicion.
It’s an interesting idea but there is one other piece of the puzzle that needs to be in place for the X-plan to function:
“The X-plan comes with the agreement that we will pass no judgments and ask no questions (even if he is 10 miles away from where he’s supposed to be).”
Trust runs in both directions and if we want our children to rely on us, we need to give them the opportunity to do so. If we fall short in that regard, they are unlikely to take advantage of the X-plan.
More than likely, you can think back to a time when you were in an uncomfortable situation and you had to choose between disappointing your peers or potentially disappointing your parents. The X-plan gives the children an opportunity to avoid those difficult spots and it fosters trust at the same time.
At the conclusion of Fulk’s blog post, he has one other piece of advice for parents: “I beg you to share this piece. If this somehow gives just one kid a way out of a bad situation, we can all feel privileged to have been a part of that.”